Tips for how to know and select good friends

Growing up, we lived in a town where it was almost normal for children to just roam and mingle anyhow. Others keep their children indoors and designed a triangle pattern for them. That is, from home to school and back home or from home to church and back home. This means that, if you are not in school, you should be at home or in church.
This pattern is not healthy for any child and my opinion is for children to be allowed to socialize and have outdoor fun times but with parental guidance. On the other hand, it's not also safe for parents to allow their children roam and mingle with just anybody. And this is where guidance is needed.
As children, we didn’t really have the opportunity to go out and play with friends in our compound the way we would have loved to but we were allowed to play sometimes by merit. My parents believed that not all compound or neighborhood children should necessarily be your friends. But when you finish your assignments on time, do your chores and you can go out to play for a while. This was because we had some good neighbors whose children met the standards of my Dad. They attended the same school with us, spoke good English and were excellent in academics. They had disciplined parents just like mine. It was also not permitted to use vulgar languages in the compound too. My parents loved education so they allowed us mingle on that basis but not without guidance. I can recall that we were not allowed to go into their houses to play and anyway, our compound was really very big and fenced. It was a strict warning from my parents never to go into their houses or rooms without their knowledge.
I can also recall some Saturdays when my Dad dropped us at some trusted family friend's house in the morning(of cause after our chores) and picked us by evening. We really looked forward to weekends for this kind of visit. For us it was an avenue to socialize and play with our friends outside our home. My point is this, we were permitted to mingle based on my parent's terms and standards which were the best for us as children.
These standards included being godly, academic performance, good family background, good speaking, morality and decency. We just naturally imbibed these and they guide me till date.
 I can remember hearing my mom pray for us as regards our friends. She knew she couldn't control who we met outside but she had the prayer advantage to control it on her knees.
This is why when I see people who make wrong moves in choosing friends, I easily trace it to their home. I'm also aware that some parents do really well in guiding their children but such children still go astray. There is a seed already planted in the hearts of those children, and one day, such will fall back to what they had been taught.
As I said in my previous post, your personality and character should determine who you allow into your life. For example, I'm not a fashion crazy or materialistic person so I don't hang around such people. I love and believe so much in moderacy, modesty and being as natural as much as possible. This defines who I deliberately allow into my life.
I use the word 'allow' because, you have to permit anybody before they can become a part of your life. No friendship is an accident. You allowed it! 'Anything goes' kind of person or someone who is not principled can make you see things from their own point of view which may be the wrong one.
The kind of friends I keep are basically those whose interest is centred around  love for God and His Word. Those with vast knowledge, the highly intelligent,those who are physically and emotional strong, high moral standards, honest, enterprising, creativity, fun to be with/down to earth individuals, those who crave for excellence, innovative minds and those who speak and write well. Once I meet such people, I hardly let them go. This has formed my whole essence.
There is a proverb in my place that says, “the meat you don't want to eat, you don't try to share it with your teeth". When someone is not going your way, don't ride with them. Entanglement with the wrong people will gradually drag you into things you never imagined to be involved in(  . . . . . and all his friends said to him, Let a gallows be made, fifty cubits [seventy-five feet] high, and in the morning speak to the king, that Mordecai may be hanged on it; then you go in merrily with the king to the dinner. And the thing pleased Haman, and he caused the gallows to be made. Esther 5:14 AMP), ( Do not make friends with a hot tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Prov 22:24 NIV). The people you surround yourself with can make you or destroy you. This is why you must employ wisdom in picking friends. Are they always able to give you wise counsel?Are they able to inspire you? Are they able to contribute positively to your life?
 I love and have friends who are fashion crazy and I have learnt a lot from them but if that's all that matters to you, we will only relate from a distance. Those who inspire you with creative ideas, success records and words that leave you thinking to get more from life, those are the kind of people you should surround yourself with.
I have a friend who is married with three children. She reads a minimum of 3 books per month. She's not a full house wife, has won several awards in her company, a working class mom with no house help. She runs a business too. Each time we chat or talk on phone, I'm always challenged to do more and be the best I can be.
A good friend is someone who can be blunt in speaking the truth to you. If you don't want to hear the truth, don't go to them. You need a lot of those kind of people. They criticize you and tell you how to make it excellent.
I have a good friend who takes his time to go through all my blog posts. He'll correct, criticize and make sure what I publish is the best. Sometimes, he gets really hard on me but I know his heart. And over time, I have improved a lot in my writing and how I present my ideas. I owe this to him.
What you know, no one can take away from you. Go for friends that motivate you to acquire knowledge about anything that will make you better or improve on any aspect of your life. I learnt a long time ago that in life, one needs people who can have your back( Even some of the Asiarchs (political or religious officials in Asia) who were his friends also sent to him and warned him not to risk venturing into the theater.Acts 19:31 AMP) There are times in life when you need someone who can hold your hand up and encourage you without blaming you or getting you more depressed.
A friend is someone who you are loyal to and can be loyal to you in return, someone who can wake up at the middle of the night to pray for you or someone who you can call at anytime to agree with you in prayers, someone who will never hide from you an opportunity that will benefit you, someone who will lead you to the palace and ensure that you stay there while reminding you of God. Someone who will never be jealous of your level of prosperity but instead will be motivated not envious. Someone you are comfortable around with; people who have the air of love around them. Someone who celebrates your differences instead of trying to make you be like them. Someone who is ever ready to sacrifice and share his/her money, time, resources, ideas and expertise with you and you can readily do so in return whenever it’s needed. Someone who knows your weaknesses but helps you magnify your strength in such a way that it outweighs your weaknesses.
I'm not talking about your spouse but those special people God puts in your life to be a Blessing. If you don't believe or have lost hope in friends, you can ask God for them to come your way while you have a open heart. Trust me when I say that life is easier and sweeter when you have the right friends in your life.
Those who maximize the gift of friendship are those who know and understand the mind of Christ concerning friendship. He called his disciples friends (. . . . . . . . . but I have called you My friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from My Father. [I have revealed to you everything that I have learned from Him.John 15:15 AMP). Friends you can open up to and not be afraid of betrayal.
Good friends still exists!!