Steps to being an amazing in-law

The word in-law is to some a good idea and to others a horrible idea from whoever initiated it.

Regardless of what you think about the word ' in-law', my question is, what kind of in-law are you and what kind of in-law would you want to be even as a single or as young man/young woman ?

I'm doing a comprehensive book write up about in-laws to show God's original plan for this idea.

It is to fuse families, irrespective of background and ethnicity.

Now, you have issues with your in-laws? Fine! But what kind are you?

For an instance, I have heard wives complain about their mothers in-law which is natural 'cause everybody can't act the same but now that you are a mother, what kind of mother in-laws would you want to be? Loving, peaceful, large hearted,supportive, tolerant  or troublesome, picky, self righteous and controlling?

Whenever I remember the law of sowing and reaping, it puts me in check as a woman. I don't want to sow what I won't love to reap.

To my unmarried friends, what kind of in-law are you to your sister or brother in-law? I have heard of younger sisters that joined their mothers to go and beat up their sister in-law and I wonder if they realize the consequence of that singular action. You have to reap it later says the law of Kalmar.

I will use myself as an example to further portray my point.

I have siblings and some are not married yet. They have friends that they hold so dearly. I know them and I make them as comfortable with me and love them for who they are. I can say that I am close to most of my sibling's friends except for those who I haven't had the opportunity to meet. One of them have a girlfriend and I hardly even speak with her or even ask what is going in her relationship with my sibling. I give them space as adults and support them whenever I'm called upon by them.

I have also told myself that I will be the best sister in-law to all my sibling's husbands and wives. I have observed that most wives don't like in-laws who are over controlling or over bearing. Just mind your business, give them their space, respect/love them and they are cool with you. I have decided that, that kind of in-law I will be.

To my children, I want to be the kind of in-law that makes life so easy for them. Some  mothers in-law may at first look like a treat to their daughter in-law (especially wives with inferiority complex or fear from what they have seen). I know all these, so what will I do about that? As an in-law, I should give him or her space to naturalize with the family without any kind of pressure. I'll love them and continuously reassure them of my acceptance and love for them no matter where they are from and the differences in our temperaments

I will even go as far as giving them an all expense paid trip with me and my husband to a fun filled holiday. Yes! Its not too much to show them love and honour them as my children. Just anything to make my daughter or son in-law comfortable and happy. I don't need to super impose my style on them. I'm so sure that the honour I'll get from them for doing these will be massive.

And to ensure this, I have been on a conscious  study of the different kinds of generations so as to fully understand their peculiarities. Different generation behave in ways extremely different from mine so I shouldn't expect them to think, act or do things the way I love all the time. I have an understanding that what I  know about anything makes me educated or well schooled in that area.

I have often told my husband that, by the time we are retired, we will travel out of the  country often with our grandchildren (that's if they are based in our country).

I plan my retirement to be so busy that I won't even have time to puck nose or want to dive into their lives without their invitation. Yeah we could visit as grandparents but not uninvited.

Isn't this a beautiful mindset or decision? 

I repeat, what kind of in-law are you or what kind of in-law would you want to be? Make that decision now and consciously work towards it!